Some may remember the day in June of 2014 when I was stalked by a Monarch butterfly. I posted pics on Facebook of course, and one person Commented that a 'pestering butterfly' may symbolize, big changes ahead... umyeah, I AM now fully convinced that this is an irrefutable fact, at least in my case.
Let me just state here to the Reader: if you cannot comprehend, understand or conceive even at this point, please leave the page- it's not meant for you.
So why am I sharing this very personal story...? Because I have lost a few friends, a couple of family members aaaand I'm getting real tired of being looked at as if I had two heads whenever *I cannot contain myself and start to share my cosmic epiphanies, although strongly advised against it by Light Beings. There were one or two friends who pretended quite well to relate to my story, interacting with some pretty deep conversations when in actuality they had other intentions entirely.
Even MORE importantly, this is my way of reaching out to those who are feeling this overwhelming, UPLOAD/DOWNLOAD/OVERLOAD/whateverLOAD of COSMIC ENERGY- confused, depressed, socially and emotionally detached and maybe even completely immobilized from taking any action at all, whereas in your past, you wouldn't have dared to even entertain THAT idea!
Now, no longer relating to life as you knew it, with a perspective now that's done a 180° on EVERYTHING and you're forced to learn HOW to live with knowing what you know.... it's like, OhMyGodMan, just let ME OFF this RIDE, I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS!
I want those people to know that I get it and I want to help... even if it's for a brief second, a year from now, or several years, it doesn't matter. Putting this out there has not been easy but I'm ready! I AM SO ready!
Okay so I've heard some call this painful, predictable wave, "Ascension Symptoms", I call it BULLSHIT so let's get right down to it!
Jan., of '16, I had a near death experience (okay actually two, I'll be honest & maybe just one more, two months later but I wouldn't call it a NDE, it was more like a OOBE of which I won't go into because it was actually the easiest part of this whole crazy, life-changing experience.The most agonizing being, left alone with my, "irrational" thoughts.
I really just longed for someone to listen and being the strong Sanguine that I am, I felt I was bursting at the seams so yeah... I went to a shrink. He did understand somewhat, for there was a small piece behind his PHD where he could honestly relate but that just lead to more appointments, more money, blabla- I knew I had to find out on my own, that this thing I was experiencing, actually had a name and I was (literally) not alone.
*In defense of those few who I did eventually confide in, it's not your fault that you couldn't/can't grasp what I was trying to convey to you at the time. Not only that, you did have your own hampster wheel to jump from, I get that... I mean really, who just changes their perspective on about everyDAMNthing for what seemed to be, overnight...? Who actually HEARS voices, SEE'S objects and scenarios played out from what could only be described as, Ancient Wisdom; a Divine Interception; a very REAL connection with an Ascended Master named Saint Germain...?
**We're not Catholic! Hell, we steer clear of any "structured, religious sect"! We've never even heard of this character until now. OMG she's gone nuts! This person belongs in a GD looney bin! Lol! This shit ain't normal... oh it's stress... it'll pass. 🙄
No one actually said this to me lol, but oooooohh I know what you were thinking. 😘
Nope, it didn't pass, it's not going to pass, in fact, I'm anchored now more than ever and I'm itching to go to the GD Himalayas to find my DAMN PEOPLE!!! (SQUIRREL!) Hahaha, reminds me of a rap song, how's it go...? "...been meditating like it's the Himalayas..."? I believe it's the, "Don't Give a Fuck About You" song, Idk and I'm too lazy right now to Google it but it's a catchy tune, I love it and I can relate lol, but anyway, it sure didn't get any easier and appeared to all, "outter senses" that, holyshit, how does life get any frickin worse?!!
So long story short, I surrendered, I meditated, I surrendered, I meditated... I surrendered to the FUCKING UNIVERSE again! What else could I do really...? I had already lost everything (and I do mean, EVERY. THING.) which btw I now realize, wasn't about me or what I had, it was about succumbing to who I REALLY was; who I've ALWAYS been, from the beginning of eternal existence and beyond! Whaaaaaaa? I know, so try to stay with me.
I continued on somehow, bc well, it's just what you do... I surrendered and I meditated... I surrendered and I Zentangled... I surrendered and I painted... I surrendered and made shit, I surrendered and I read A LOT of old books (quick shout out: Dusty M.- remember Ramacharaka u recommended years ago...? Yep! And Wow, the Wisdom which lies therein which blew past me the first time, just fricken BLOWS ME AWAY! Lol) OMG! What if y'all are reading this because I'm DEAD?! (Sorry, just another random squirrel moment, not funny.) So this, creating [things] along with the deliberate meditations, unbeknownst to myself at the time, had been connecting me directly to Source (God, Highest Self, One consciousness, call it whatever you want).
There were so many crazy synchronicities by this time that I would have been a mindless idiot to ignore them and the more I surrendered, the more I knew. Wait, whaaaa...? Yes, KNEW- and it drove me absolutely, batshit nuts bc one thing would appear, then another, then another on top of that and it would all turn out to be verified and solid truth.
Where was "it" actually coming from though and why was this Ascended Master, Saint Germain so eager to get my attention...? He wasn't just in my mind, he was showing up everydamnwhere by this time.
It was all very overwhelming and soooo mentally exhausting. I would have to force myself to take a break after a few days in a row of this shit, it's a lot. And not being able to talk about it...? Well, Kill me now.
I knew in my Heart though that I was given something that I had to accept and eventually embrace because this was a GIFT! I found myself suddenly having an inner-knowing; an inner-peace; an inner-JOY that could only be described as a FEELING!
I had found others going through same experiences, although somewhat different in nature, and that lead me to Shamanism. 😁 Yep it's true, I went to a retreat all by myself, complete with a wonderful sweat lodge experience which I will hold dearly in my heart, forever! 🙏 I met some of the MOST down-to-earth ppl in this cozy little place (okay it's pretty huge and well-known throughout the world notice I didn't say, "globally" this time... for earth really IS a DOMED plate. HA!) So Shamanism didn't really resonate with me for some reason although I am grateful to have met these amazing people and just a handful of others, mainly online, sharing their struggles of being bombarded with this undeniable knowledge and learning how to cope in the 3rd dimension.
Let me just state here to the Reader: if you cannot comprehend, understand or conceive even at this point, please leave the page- it's not meant for you.
💜
So why am I sharing this very personal story...? Because I have lost a few friends, a couple of family members aaaand I'm getting real tired of being looked at as if I had two heads whenever *I cannot contain myself and start to share my cosmic epiphanies, although strongly advised against it by Light Beings. There were one or two friends who pretended quite well to relate to my story, interacting with some pretty deep conversations when in actuality they had other intentions entirely.
Even MORE importantly, this is my way of reaching out to those who are feeling this overwhelming, UPLOAD/DOWNLOAD/OVERLOAD/whateverLOAD of COSMIC ENERGY- confused, depressed, socially and emotionally detached and maybe even completely immobilized from taking any action at all, whereas in your past, you wouldn't have dared to even entertain THAT idea!
Now, no longer relating to life as you knew it, with a perspective now that's done a 180° on EVERYTHING and you're forced to learn HOW to live with knowing what you know.... it's like, OhMyGodMan, just let ME OFF this RIDE, I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS!
I want those people to know that I get it and I want to help... even if it's for a brief second, a year from now, or several years, it doesn't matter. Putting this out there has not been easy but I'm ready! I AM SO ready!
Okay so I've heard some call this painful, predictable wave, "Ascension Symptoms", I call it BULLSHIT so let's get right down to it!
Jan., of '16, I had a near death experience (okay actually two, I'll be honest & maybe just one more, two months later but I wouldn't call it a NDE, it was more like a OOBE of which I won't go into because it was actually the easiest part of this whole crazy, life-changing experience.The most agonizing being, left alone with my, "irrational" thoughts.
I really just longed for someone to listen and being the strong Sanguine that I am, I felt I was bursting at the seams so yeah... I went to a shrink. He did understand somewhat, for there was a small piece behind his PHD where he could honestly relate but that just lead to more appointments, more money, blabla- I knew I had to find out on my own, that this thing I was experiencing, actually had a name and I was (literally) not alone.
*In defense of those few who I did eventually confide in, it's not your fault that you couldn't/can't grasp what I was trying to convey to you at the time. Not only that, you did have your own hampster wheel to jump from, I get that... I mean really, who just changes their perspective on about everyDAMNthing for what seemed to be, overnight...? Who actually HEARS voices, SEE'S objects and scenarios played out from what could only be described as, Ancient Wisdom; a Divine Interception; a very REAL connection with an Ascended Master named Saint Germain...?
**We're not Catholic! Hell, we steer clear of any "structured, religious sect"! We've never even heard of this character until now. OMG she's gone nuts! This person belongs in a GD looney bin! Lol! This shit ain't normal... oh it's stress... it'll pass. 🙄
No one actually said this to me lol, but oooooohh I know what you were thinking. 😘
Nope, it didn't pass, it's not going to pass, in fact, I'm anchored now more than ever and I'm itching to go to the GD Himalayas to find my DAMN PEOPLE!!! (SQUIRREL!) Hahaha, reminds me of a rap song, how's it go...? "...been meditating like it's the Himalayas..."? I believe it's the, "Don't Give a Fuck About You" song, Idk and I'm too lazy right now to Google it but it's a catchy tune, I love it and I can relate lol, but anyway, it sure didn't get any easier and appeared to all, "outter senses" that, holyshit, how does life get any frickin worse?!!
So long story short, I surrendered, I meditated, I surrendered, I meditated... I surrendered to the FUCKING UNIVERSE again! What else could I do really...? I had already lost everything (and I do mean, EVERY. THING.) which btw I now realize, wasn't about me or what I had, it was about succumbing to who I REALLY was; who I've ALWAYS been, from the beginning of eternal existence and beyond! Whaaaaaaa? I know, so try to stay with me.
I continued on somehow, bc well, it's just what you do... I surrendered and I meditated... I surrendered and I Zentangled... I surrendered and I painted... I surrendered and made shit, I surrendered and I read A LOT of old books (quick shout out: Dusty M.- remember Ramacharaka u recommended years ago...? Yep! And Wow, the Wisdom which lies therein which blew past me the first time, just fricken BLOWS ME AWAY! Lol) OMG! What if y'all are reading this because I'm DEAD?! (Sorry, just another random squirrel moment, not funny.) So this, creating [things] along with the deliberate meditations, unbeknownst to myself at the time, had been connecting me directly to Source (God, Highest Self, One consciousness, call it whatever you want).
There were so many crazy synchronicities by this time that I would have been a mindless idiot to ignore them and the more I surrendered, the more I knew. Wait, whaaaa...? Yes, KNEW- and it drove me absolutely, batshit nuts bc one thing would appear, then another, then another on top of that and it would all turn out to be verified and solid truth.
Where was "it" actually coming from though and why was this Ascended Master, Saint Germain so eager to get my attention...? He wasn't just in my mind, he was showing up everydamnwhere by this time.
It was all very overwhelming and soooo mentally exhausting. I would have to force myself to take a break after a few days in a row of this shit, it's a lot. And not being able to talk about it...? Well, Kill me now.
I knew in my Heart though that I was given something that I had to accept and eventually embrace because this was a GIFT! I found myself suddenly having an inner-knowing; an inner-peace; an inner-JOY that could only be described as a FEELING!
I had found others going through same experiences, although somewhat different in nature, and that lead me to Shamanism. 😁 Yep it's true, I went to a retreat all by myself, complete with a wonderful sweat lodge experience which I will hold dearly in my heart, forever! 🙏 I met some of the MOST down-to-earth ppl in this cozy little place (okay it's pretty huge and well-known throughout the world notice I didn't say, "globally" this time... for earth really IS a DOMED plate. HA!) So Shamanism didn't really resonate with me for some reason although I am grateful to have met these amazing people and just a handful of others, mainly online, sharing their struggles of being bombarded with this undeniable knowledge and learning how to cope in the 3rd dimension.
Anyway, there is obviously a purpose because it wasn't getting any easier! I had to find a way to incorporate this new shift of Consciousness with my life in what we call, 'reality'.
There's some pretty crazy shit that I didn't even realize I did't know until I knew it! I also would like to acknowledge at this time that I really know nothing at all.
Subconsciously, this path has lead me to some very intense and in depth studies of Egyptology (I believe my VBDL peeps can all attest to this. Hermeticism, Theology, Gemology, Occultism, Algorithm, Quantum Mechanics, Plato, Shakespeare, Pythagoras, Gnosticism, even and especially (w/the utmost LOVE), Alchemy.
Many of these subjects may seem a little off to you and those are probably the ones you've never studied yourself so try not to judge before you do so first. I am open to everything yet attached to nothing... which means I won't explore something if it's of a low density. I am thankful to be aware that these topics exist for it makes me appreciate Light even more and this thing is way longer than I wanted it to be so I apologize (NoIDon't, my turn to talk). 😗
Late April '16, at no will of my own, I began to gradually cut myself off from outside resources and that's where real Initiation began. I did start to question my sanity at this point... everything I knew did a complete 180°- my perspective on life, death, holidays, birthdays, the paranormal, religion, work, almost everything had changed and no matter what I did/do I cannot make myself feel how I once felt. The things that once mattered, no longer matter. Funerals, opinions, appearances, disagreements... my comprehension of WHY and HOW these things could actually, "MATTER" to someone else was absolutely inconceivable to me; my ego had disappeared; this was proof.
If words could honestly relay how crazy I know this sounds to the "sociably acceptable", intellectual person, I would do that here. I was one of those people. Just please try to be open-minded enough to know that this is very real, it's very profound and it's more common than you think so the moral of the story is, if a butterfly starts fluttering next to you, RUN!
It doesn't matter if you're Atheist, Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhism, whatever ISM... we may all call it by a different name; It is Divine and it IS the same. Period.
ALL really is well no matter what it, "appears" to be and yes, that even includes, politics, lol. So have no doubt, have no fear... it really IS...
If my story at all resonates with you, please share- maybe we can compare notes and figure some of this shit out! 😁
**I intend no disrespect whatsoever to those that do, I deeply appreciate my Lutheran background which has lead me to look a little deeper into the many misconceptions that are preached by many and followed by few.
The Bible is Absolutely THE map to All that Is which is just my personal perception.
Late April '16, at no will of my own, I began to gradually cut myself off from outside resources and that's where real Initiation began. I did start to question my sanity at this point... everything I knew did a complete 180°- my perspective on life, death, holidays, birthdays, the paranormal, religion, work, almost everything had changed and no matter what I did/do I cannot make myself feel how I once felt. The things that once mattered, no longer matter. Funerals, opinions, appearances, disagreements... my comprehension of WHY and HOW these things could actually, "MATTER" to someone else was absolutely inconceivable to me; my ego had disappeared; this was proof.
If words could honestly relay how crazy I know this sounds to the "sociably acceptable", intellectual person, I would do that here. I was one of those people. Just please try to be open-minded enough to know that this is very real, it's very profound and it's more common than you think so the moral of the story is, if a butterfly starts fluttering next to you, RUN!
It doesn't matter if you're Atheist, Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhism, whatever ISM... we may all call it by a different name; It is Divine and it IS the same. Period.
ALL really is well no matter what it, "appears" to be and yes, that even includes, politics, lol. So have no doubt, have no fear... it really IS...
A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE! 💜
If my story at all resonates with you, please share- maybe we can compare notes and figure some of this shit out! 😁
**I intend no disrespect whatsoever to those that do, I deeply appreciate my Lutheran background which has lead me to look a little deeper into the many misconceptions that are preached by many and followed by few.
The Bible is Absolutely THE map to All that Is which is just my personal perception.
💜
